Friday, December 23, 2005


News headlines (just a few of its kind):

Seven held in Jharkhand gang rape case

Two arrested in Toofan express rape case

Nursing home ownwer arrested in rape case

Dacoit rapes woman on train bound for Mumbai

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.

Instead of that bullshit, how about....

If a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
If a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.

If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
If your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape her.
If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.

If your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and It's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.

Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.
Don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
Don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
Don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
Don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

If you agree, repost it. It's that important.


Blogger Dhananjay Shettigar said...

You've hit the nail on the head.

I had a conversation with a 'friend' recently and my argument was on similar lines. At one point of time, he claimed "If only girls stop wearing short skirts." That comment did leave me stumped. He went on, "If they choose to wear short skirts, they lose the right to cry foul about rape." Honestly, I don't know how to react to this 'line of reasoning', if one may call it that. In such moemts, Dilbert helps me out with his famous quote: "Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience."

I don't know why some people just don't realise that rape has got nothing to do with the length of the skirt and the revealing-index of the blouse, but with the sexual frustrations and the mentality of the rapist.

9:34 PM  
Blogger Kiran Shetty said...

adding to what dhananjay shettigar said-Ther's nothin like girls only with short skirts are being raped.havent girls or women wearing full clothes raped?? YES. So this concludes all the hooolah abt the same.the problem is not with the dressing of that girl, but of the rapist's mind. Lets educate each n every citizen that correcting a girl's dress code or laying down a dress code is not gonna work.let's tidy up the minds of those who even bring the thought of raping a female in mind.make the life of those caught so miserable that no other person brings such a horrible thought of shattering the life of anyone in his mind.kudos to u my friend for the excellent write-up.(i wud suggest u just shorten up a bit maybe n mail it to a newspaper n ask them to publish.gr8!!!!

8:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions". It's so easy to talk bullshit!! and fill your blog with paranomesia, Would any one of you have the b****s, to rescue someone if they were being put thru' a condition like that. agreed those who do that to a 7 year old or a toddler are totally off the hook, but then would u even call it rape?? that lil thing doesnt even know what's going on?? and yeah, the dress of a woman is the biggest reason for arousal!! and yes it does make a difference if your fully clad!! ask youselves who would u give a second look, one with high skirt and low neck or one with a "more respectable" outfit if i may say so!!

8:55 AM  
Blogger Dhananjay Shettigar said...

@ Anonymous -
I believe in a civilised democratic society, each and everyone of us has the right to an opinion, however flawed it might be, as it is in your case.
"the dress of a woman is the biggest reason for arousal!!" Ask yourself the question, is it the dress or the thoughts that go through YOUR head that arouses you. You might contend that it is the dress that gives rise to the thoughts. It is so very important to draw a line between getting aroused and actually raping someone.
Pray tell me, suppose you are watching a blue film and your sister enters the house. Would you in your 'moment of arousal', end up raping her. You obviously would not, inspite of how revealing her clothes might be.
And what is a 'respectable outfit'? I believe a burkha is disrespectful of individuality just as you might believe a mini-skirt as disrespectful of a woman's character. Its purely a matter of opinion.
If your thoughts are uncontrollable, atleast your actions are.

9:02 PM  
Blogger Dhananjay Shettigar said...

@ Anonymous -
A direct question for you.
Would YOU rape someone?
The answer to this question can speak volumes about YOUR character rather than that of the one you rape.

9:05 PM  
Blogger aShWiN said...

As usual, u r at "ur best" when it comes poetic verses. Still i feel a write-up on RAPE required a more brutal treatment. I slightly agree and even disagree on some points w.r.t. to ur article and the comments posted.
It is very difficult to predict who may or may not be a potential rapist but clothes might help u 2 some extent..what after that?
Its all in the head of rapist..
In a democratic culture, u cant ask people what to wear and what not to..They may wear wotever they want to..As a precaution u can wear full clothes or even extras or none or wotever u call "more respectable outfit"..rapist will do what he wants to..
There might b 'N' number of reasons and 'N' number of relationships where rape might happen..a recent incident where a fatwa was issued to a lady because her father-in-law raped her..wot do u call this?..'height of cheap human behaviour'
UR n my writings wont help anything. Wot v need is a more capitalistic brutal sort of punishment for the rapist ..something which shudders and trembles a person even before he has a thought of rape..

1:06 AM  
Blogger Surya Ragunaathan said...

@ Dhananjay - Its feels very unpleasant that educated people(like ur friend),still think like this...the problem is such people do not actually reason it out...they only are interested to commense a 'blame-game'...thanks very much for encouraging my written work.

@ Kiran - thanks!

@ Anonymous - I dont think I can answer this 'piece of trash'that u have written in a better way than what Dhananjay has done...But still, I do have some points to offer:
1) I live in a democratic society where I have a right to voice my opinion(if spineless people like you can,why cant I?) this is my personal blog and Its my SPACE.
2) "Would any one of you have the b****s,to rescue someone if they were being put thru' a condition like that"(the most digressing-from-the-subject-question) But,yes! I have the b****s and thats no lame statement.
3)"the dress of a woman is the biggest reason for arousal!! and yes it does make a difference if your fully clad!!"...The Imrana rape case is an example where the victim was 'fully clad'in a Salwar-Kameez & a burkha...Would you rape your daughter(when/if u had one)if she wore revealing clothes and that aroused you? If you did,remember that its the result of ur incability to control your brutal emotions/actions.
4) "respectable outfit"...Would like to ask, what is a respectable outfit according to you? rather who defines it? If you ask me, a short-skirt or anything is very respectable, provided the girl wearing it carries herself well...Whether you respect or do not respect a girl(irrespective of what she's wearing)depends entirely on you and your mind...It is in the way U LOOK AT A GIRL, shows UR INTENTIONS.
5) "Paranomesia, easy to fill ur blog with bull-shit"...U r the first to criticise me in such a manner...I would respect ur comments much more, if you didnt maintain a craven face/identity and revealed who u r.

@ Ashwin - Yes! I think we must have a more capitalistic and brutal punishment...infact I have discussed this aspect with many people but the best I came across was on Dhananjay's blog, a post thats titled 'of brutes & cowards'...chk it out.

10:25 AM  
Blogger loveunlimited said...

"don't perpetuate a culture....." exceedingly well-written buddy!!! honestly, until now, i never had any opinion about rape or mentality of rapist or whose-fault-it-is? but ur post makes me take a stand and form an opinion that rape is the result of uncontrollable emotions of rapist

for DJ: I LOVED UR comments and the way u hav answered anonymous.

11:23 AM  
Anonymous nishu said...

please extend this to bribes, vandalism, eve-teasing, etc.

11:20 PM  

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